I am feeling lonely. I am feeling unlovable. I am feeling hurt.
I'm in a really dark spot the last few days/weeks/years (who really knows). It is not consistent for more than a few days usually, but it reoccurs more than it seems I can handle. Most of you know that I love my Lord and I love His church. For this last week or so I don't want to go to church, I don't want to be apart of the Goddard launch, I don't want to lead Upper Elementary, I don't want to be apart of camp, I definitely don't want to go to anything where there are believers praising the Lord. In the deepest part of my soul I'm longing to be apart of the body, but on the top layers I'm just done.
I don't want pity. I don't want encouragement. I don't want this sorrow anymore.
I want to feel loved by my King. I want to simply want to. I want to give Him everything.
I am not blogging to make everyone depressed along with me, I just have to get it off my chest. I want to leave you with these words from one of my most favorite songs. I need to hear it. You need to hear it.
One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed
Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day
One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me
One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He’s ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again
One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing
My Savior, Jesus, is mine
Oh, glorious day
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed
Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day
One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me
One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He’s ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again
One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing
My Savior, Jesus, is mine
Oh, glorious day
