My Girl

Well, she is now a little over 13 months old. But here are her amazing photos from her One Year shoot. Jacque-Inc. Photography did it again! She captured my Macy in such a beautiful way! You really should go like Jacque Inc. on Facebook. Like right now...I give you permission to leave my blog for just a minute to go over to Facebook and like the page of the best photographer I know. 

We are so blessed by this little lady! Macy is now a walking fool, she started walking about a week before she turned 13 months. She has 8 teeth. Macy can sign please, all done, and water. She doesn't like getting buckled into her car seat and she isn't a fan of naps. Macy is a gooood eater, she loves cottage cheese, frozen peas, green grapes, and just about anything you put on her tray. Macy loves dogs, she talks to any dog she hears or sees. She loves to spend time with her cousins, Aunts, and Grandma's. She enjoys playing with her Dad, he has taught her all kinds of fun things this summer. One of my favorite is that now when she laughs she covers her mouth and kinda bends over. Her favorite toys are her doctor set and her magnetic puzzles. She is starting to learn the song Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes...she almost has it down. Macy likes to stop and lay down when she is playing and pretend to take a nap, as soon as I "snore" she hops up and laughs. She can climb up the stairs and is still perfecting going back down. Macy likes to blow bubbles, she now wants to do it all on her own (imagine that)! She also loves to write, she can click pens and we're working only writing on paper, haha. Macy loves to push strollers or anything with wheels, she loves to ride toys with wheels and her trike. She also loves to stand up on anything she isn't supposed to, especially the trike. Macy loves to be outdoors, but reacts really badly to mosquito bites. She enjoys swimming, but doesn't love baths. She doesn't mind having her hair combed, but doesn't like having it washed. Everywhere we go Macy gets compliments on her hair and her eyes. Personally, I just love her smile and I love that she just doesn't smile at just anyone, she has to really be comfortable to smile at you.

Let me just say, I am one proud Momma!

Loved and Lost

I know God's plan is always good. I went to a wedding this weekend and the message had a focus on God's promises. God keeps promises. Today at church our Pastor challenged us to reach out to one person, just one, and tell them about Christ and how He is good, how He is working in your life. I have no idea who I will reach this week, but I sure hope I can be an overachiever and share how great my God is to more than one.

All of this is a reminder for me and for you. But, for me I needed that reminder before I type out the rest of this post. Tonight I was overwhelmed with grief. This coming weekend is Memorial Day weekend. Usually it is fun filled, time in the sun, and enjoying family. While, all of those things are going to happen it will also be filled with remembering loved ones that have passed. Our family has always gone to the cemetery to remember those of our loved ones that are not with us anymore. As I grow older, I learn how much more it means to do this annual event because those we are visiting have been close to me and have impacted my life.

This Memorial Day I remember my grandparents that have died. They were a huge part of my life! I have been so blessed to have all of my grandparents as role models. I also remember my Dad. I get pretty sad thinking about how Macy will miss out on time with her Grandpa. She would have loved him and he would have been overwhelmed with joy when he was with her. She does this copy-cat laugh thing where she laughs when you laugh. Man oh man I can just hear Papa Larry laughing just to hear Macy copy-cat.

And lastly, I've been crying throughout this post trying to figure out how to put this into words. Let me remind you that I have an awesome little girl upstairs snoozin' in her bed. She really blows me away with her awesomeness : ) But I think any Momma that has lost a baby can tell you, the kids you have don't just replace those babies that you've lost. No, I never got to meet our first little babe, but I've loved that lil nugget since May of 2010. Our little baby would have turned 3 this year. It's hard not to look at what you don't have. I don't have a lil preschooler watching the same movie over and over every day, I don't have a little one running around making me crazy asking questions and trying to be a big and do everything on their own, I am not potty training, or all of those other things that come with a 3 year old.

YES, I have so much to be thankful for and believe me I am. As Memorial Day approaches I am remembering those I have loved and lost and loved some more. I am not ok with wallowing in sorrow and dwelling on it, so I won't. BUT I am ok with thinking about those things we are missing out on by not having those loved ones around and it making us love them even more.

This whole post is about my baby.

Little Macy is so close to walking! She has been pulling up for months, walking around things, pushing her walker/toy thing, and movin' and groovin' all over the place. We've been trying to get her to walk, take a few steps at least, for the last couple of weeks. In the last few days she has climbed our stairs multiple times, but no steps on her own. I've been by her side for a couple days straight, I leave for a couple hours and guess what?! She takes her first few steps for Daddy. I am super excited he was able to see this, but pretty sad I didn't. I know in the big scheme things it really isn't that big of a deal, but today I'm pretty bummed, but also SO thankful for Macy and Mike and all they bring to my life.

Although I missed the first few steps I am pretty proud that her favorite word is "Mom." Not "Mama" like a lot of almost 11 month olds, but a very enunciated "MOM." She also likes to say "Yum," when she is hungry, "Woah," as she pretends to jump, the way she, in a high pitch, whispers "Dada," she loves to talk about her cousin "Lanie," and when the dog that lives behind us barks, she rushes over to the back door and makes a "Woof" like sound. She also copy-cat laughs, if she hears a laugh sure enough she does it. Today Mike left me a voicemail, he laughed, and I hear her in the background "ha ha ha."

It's not all sunshine, she is super sassy and independent. She already throws pretty intense tantrums. She doesn't like being told what to do, funny, like I'm so bossy at this stage. If you try to help Macy she pushes you away, if she doesn't want to drink or eat she will put on her sassy pants and push whatever it is away with lots of attitude. She learns really quickly, especially the naughty things. She knows to throw things on the floor, to work her hardest at flipping over just as you're trying to put a clean diaper on her. She also hates getting dressed. We've decided to let her smash some fingers because she just won't give in on playing with cabinet doors. (I joke that I have a pretty hands off style of parenting, I'm definitely not a helicopter mom and I'm working on how I'd like to balance it all.) Macy likes to cuddle, she gives great hugs and awesome kisses, but she isn't the cuddle when hurt kind of girl. She likes to get back in there and try again, gotta love her intensity.

Last realization I had today...I was driving by myself blasting Let it Go from the Frozen soundtrack. I love God's plan. He gave me a girl first because I'm suited to mother a girl. I really am.

Ok, The End.

What a day!

Today was a rough day. My 10 month old tested me to my limits today. She threw fits, she wouldn't nap, she pooped and it got everywhere (head to toe and all over OUR clothes), and she was just super fussy. I had lots of tears as well to be honest. I think part of the reason I am so emotional about it all is that I am so thankful for my little girl. This is the hardest thing I've every done, being a mom. She tests me and drives me crazy, but man oh man I love this little lady. One of the things that I struggle with is she isn't a great napper, she doesn't nap in her crib. She has to be in her car seat or she has to be held. It is my fault, I never made her learn. Here is my biggest struggle with all of this...is it worth it so that I get to cuddle and snuggle my little peanut? Day to day I don't think so, but big picture I do. I never expected to be able to have little Macy and what if I don't ever have another kid? These might be the only 10 month old snuggles I get! No, I don't get anything done during her nap time (if she takes one), but is that what is really important? It is so hard to know what to do as a parent...vaccines or not, crib or co-sleeping, formula or breastfeeding, stay at home or go to work, cry it out or coddle, and on and on and on. After a long day of many tears for both Mommy and baby, I reflect so that I can remember how completely blessed I am! God has been so good to me.

And on that note, let me just show you how precious my little lady is when she isn't fussing, playing in the toilet, or being the most stubborn baby I've ever met!

Happy Easter!

Christ has Risen! Be joyful!

Miss Sassy Pants 

Totes Adorbs

I love this one!

Happy Valentine's Day

I have no idea...

Two things you need to know..
1. Our Internet doesn't work well in the evenings.
Macy has been going to bed around 7, which leaves a good amount of time for me to get some things done (usually). Most of those things cannot be Internet dependent because I just can't count on it.
2. I lay with Macy when she naps.
Macy will nap for 45 minutes, sometimes a lil more, instead of the 20 minutes if I lay her down on her own. I love my lil darling, but a good long nap is not in her vocabulary. So, in my profession I have no time without baby to get things done.

Do you see how these things are related? If I can't do whatever I'm trying to do on my phone, it's hard to find the time! All of this leads me to this afternoon. Macy fell asleep on the way home from the doctor and stayed asleep as I brought her inside. I thought to myself, "Oh good! Now I can do a few of those things on the Internet that I can't normally do." I sat down logged on, opened the Internet browser, and just stared at my computer. What was it that I needed to do? "I have no idea." Yep, no clue. All week I've been trying to get done all these things...and at this moment I've got nothing.

So I wrote this pointless blog, to take advantage of having a moment, with Internet. And...now she is awake after her 15 minute nap. Back to work I go!

S'mores bars...yes please!

I like to eat. I love to bake. I am a diabetic. These three things together equal one big struggle. While I’m working at eating better, especially less sugar, I continue to bake because it makes my heart happy.

I love to bake for others, it helps the cause, they eat em and I don't eat ALL of em. I also love a compliment. When people love my baking it makes me feel so good. If I ever make something for you please tell me how you feel. Now, you can tell me you don’t like it, but be graceful, please. In fact if you don’t like it just don’t say anything. I don’t like fake compliments, so if you don’t like it just don’t say anything. BUT if you do like it, TELL ME! I need the validation. Yes I do.

OK all of this is to share with you my favorite dessert these days. It is a s’mores bar dessert from Pinterest. I love it and it is delicious. Two problems; it isn’t by any means healthy and it comes out a lil bit expensive. Despite those two things, I love it and I keep making it because it is a crowd pleaser. 

So here is the recipe...

 

This is mine baking in the oven. This last time I doubled the "cookie" portion of the recipe and used 1 and a half of the filling. This made it fit in a 9x13 pan and served more people.

If you want to visit the actual website for the recipe you can link from my "Things I've tried" page on Pinterest or find it here.