Sunday, May 18, 2014

Loved and Lost

I know God's plan is always good. I went to a wedding this weekend and the message had a focus on God's promises. God keeps promises. Today at church our Pastor challenged us to reach out to one person, just one, and tell them about Christ and how He is good, how He is working in your life. I have no idea who I will reach this week, but I sure hope I can be an overachiever and share how great my God is to more than one.

All of this is a reminder for me and for you. But, for me I needed that reminder before I type out the rest of this post. Tonight I was overwhelmed with grief. This coming weekend is Memorial Day weekend. Usually it is fun filled, time in the sun, and enjoying family. While, all of those things are going to happen it will also be filled with remembering loved ones that have passed. Our family has always gone to the cemetery to remember those of our loved ones that are not with us anymore. As I grow older, I learn how much more it means to do this annual event because those we are visiting have been close to me and have impacted my life.

This Memorial Day I remember my grandparents that have died. They were a huge part of my life! I have been so blessed to have all of my grandparents as role models. I also remember my Dad. I get pretty sad thinking about how Macy will miss out on time with her Grandpa. She would have loved him and he would have been overwhelmed with joy when he was with her. She does this copy-cat laugh thing where she laughs when you laugh. Man oh man I can just hear Papa Larry laughing just to hear Macy copy-cat.

And lastly, I've been crying throughout this post trying to figure out how to put this into words. Let me remind you that I have an awesome little girl upstairs snoozin' in her bed. She really blows me away with her awesomeness : ) But I think any Momma that has lost a baby can tell you, the kids you have don't just replace those babies that you've lost. No, I never got to meet our first little babe, but I've loved that lil nugget since May of 2010. Our little baby would have turned 3 this year. It's hard not to look at what you don't have. I don't have a lil preschooler watching the same movie over and over every day, I don't have a little one running around making me crazy asking questions and trying to be a big and do everything on their own, I am not potty training, or all of those other things that come with a 3 year old.

YES, I have so much to be thankful for and believe me I am. As Memorial Day approaches I am remembering those I have loved and lost and loved some more. I am not ok with wallowing in sorrow and dwelling on it, so I won't. BUT I am ok with thinking about those things we are missing out on by not having those loved ones around and it making us love them even more.