Saturday, February 19, 2011

Porn and Pastries

Last night I attended an event hosted by my church, Westlink Christian Church, as a part of our "Porn Weekend." This event was for women only, 500 women gathered at our church for pastries, fellowship, and to hear a couple speakers from xxxchurch.com.

As you would expect this event and the advertising done by the church was a controversy in our community over the last month. I've heard before if you are not making a fuss in your community, then you are not doing your job as a congregation. In this case that statement totally applies!

Craig Gross and Shellie Warren were the guest speakers, they were merely amazing. They addressed talking to your children about sex and porn, dealing with porn addictions in your family, living a life that is pure before you enter a covenant as husband and wife, masturbation, knowing your worth as woman in the context of your sexuality, and your relationship with the Lord. They encouraged us as believers to be open about all of these issues in our families, friends, and church life!

On the website for the event, people shared their concerns about talking to their young children about sex, porn, etc. Some were offened that the church would post the word "porn" for anyone of any age to see. It was emphasized that if we can't talk about it in the church then where are these kiddos going to learn about it? Craig talked about the "sex talk" he just had with his 7 year old son. He reminded parents that if you talk about it early on you can avoid the awkward talk with an older kid that has already learned about sex from society. When you introduce it at a young age you can gradually build the comfort in talking about sex and grow with your child as they learn more. They will be more comfortable with coming to you with questions if you are open and honest with them. We are kidding ourselves if we think our youth don't know about sex and that they are not exposed! Shellie said "It they are old enough to ask the question, then they are old enough for an answer." She went on to say the answer definitely has to be age appropriate, but they need an answer.

During Q&A a woman asked about talking to her young daughter about "loving" Justin Bieber or The Jonas Brothers. Shellie gave the advice that more than anything you need to use that as a teaching moment to teach your child about the word "love" and how to use it. Encourage them to "really like him" and "love" someone you actually know and have a relationship with, I loved that advice!

When Shellie was talking about "making love" she reminded us that you don't make love with sex. You can definitely have sex and not be making love. I loved that she talked about the purpose of sex. She said that the purpose is not to procreate or to have pleasure, but the oneness that it creates with a mate.  Shellie also spoke about loving someone that loves the Lord first. That you are worth more than you give yourself credit for and that the Lord has set a path for you. She spoke about the woman as a helper, that you don't need to change for the man or strive to be with him, but that he needs you as a helper and the right one will see that in you. She reminded the women that "if the man you love is faithful to the Lord then he will be faithful to you." She encouraged single women that delay is not denile, the wait is not a no, but honoring the yeses. I really felt like she made a good point that the wait is worth it and that the Lord has a plan.

In talking with my mom (60 years old) she felt lucky to be in a situation where a different generation could learn more about the current generation. She and I talked about how people my age were just about the first people to be able to access the internet as preteens. It is a whole new world when you account for what you can access on the computer, ipods, and phones. The speakers touched on this too because it is more of an issue than it has ever been. 

Lastly, they talked about helping spouses, family members, or friends that do have sexual addictions. They gave advice on being open and building those people up and honoring the Lord by sticking with them and helping them.

I could go on forever, but I won't. I feel so blessed that the Lord has given me the ability to be open and able to talk about just about anything. I will leave you with one reminder...use the abilities the Lord has given you in sharing your faith, love, and spirituality

1 comment:

  1. Lucy, I am so impressed about your blog on this subject. I went to the Sat. Morn. Porn and Pancakes , and it was an awesome message to put to the church members. over 500 people were there and you could feel His presence everywhere. There were people from other church's that came from curiosity. It was great and the message was powerful, especially the true story of the guy who lost everything after his kiddy-porn conviction. Love to you and Mike and good luck with all you do in and out of church.

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